THOUGHTS OF A MONK

Sergius of Radonezh

September 25, 2005

Last week I learned a new word: liminal.  The dictionary tells us that the word liminal comes from Latin and means threshold. When we think of the word threshold, we can imagine being on the threshold of something great, something wonderful, something new and exciting.  If we were in a negative mood, the word would not be threshold, but precipice or edge, say, of a disaster. One might think of threshold as a place one quickly crosses through to get to the next stage of life. However, psychoanalysts who follow Carl Jung use liminal to describe the place we move to when we have decided to make a change or mid course correction in our lives, possibly prompted by some personal crisis, say losing a job or discovering one has a serious illness, or an event, such as marriage or graduating from college. From that point we enter that liminal space, that threshold, that time of transition and transformation. However, that transitional time can grow and grow until we find that we have never moved beyond it into the new place into which we have been invited. It is like standing at the window looking out at a beautiful scene but never actually going out into that place and enjoying it directly.
           
It can be scary to make that move. We can become comfortable where we are, even if where we are is chaotic, unsettled, or even painful. It is familiar. On the other hand, we may have made up our minds about where we want to go, and we cannot be dislodged from that position, even when invited to someplace better.
           
This situation reminds me of a short novel I recently read. It is by the Egyptian novelist Naguib Mahfouz, who won the Nobel Prize for literature a few years ago. The title of the novel is Respected Sir and the main character in the story, Othman, embarks on a career in a government agency with the goal of ultimately attaining the Director-Generalship of his department. However, Othman comes from a poor family with no status in society. For him to aspire to the Director-Generalship is beyond reason, since getting such a position is usually out of reach for someone of his status.  But this is what he intends to strive for, and he elevates this quest to a sacred goal. He starts out, with plenty of confidence, as a clerk in the Archives Section. Here’s how Mahfouz puts it: “his belief in himself was boundless, though in the end he depended on Almighty God. And for the same reason he would never miss a prayer, least of all the Friday service at al-Husayn Mosque. Like the people of his alley, he made no distinction between religion and life. Religion was for life and life for religion, and a glittering jewel like the position of Director General was only a sacred station on the divine and infinite path. Living among his colleagues with his senses alert and shining, he picked up the sort of ideas and maxims that seemed important to him. He then devoted himself to laying out a precise plan for the future, which he translated into a working schedule to be studied every morning before going out to work.

Program for Work and Living
“..fulfillment of duties with care and honesty; study of the Financial Bill as if it were a holy book; studying for a university degree as an external student; a special study of English and French, as well as Arabic; acquisition of general knowledge, particularly of the kind beneficial to a civil servant; demonstration, by every proper means, of piety and rectitude as well as diligence in work; efforts to gain the confidence and friendship of seniors; seizing useful opportunities without the sacrifice of self-respect. For instance: helping out someone in a position of influence, making useful friendships or a happy marriage conducive to progress.” (pp. 33-34)

Not the picture of a man open to messages from outside himself. Yet, his life was a continual challenge. He had to fight against his instincts to deviate from his plan.  Everyone thought he would marry his childhood sweetheart, but he didn’t since she brought him no status. He spent many hours doing extra work for his superiors and then went home depressed and fighting against his inner yearning for intimacy, family and comfort. He rejected it all for his sacred goal. He did climb the bureaucratic ladder, as those ahead of him retired, were transferred or died. But the ultimate goal remained just out of reach. Late in life a desperate, but ultimately failed marriage to a prostitute, not status enhancing for sure, was followed by an infatuation to a young employee whom he brought himself to ask sheepishly to marry him. Despite her mother’s protests she agrees, and shortly afterwards the Director General position becomes vacant, but Othman then suffers a heart attack. His superiors, in recognition of his service, and realizing his ultimate inability to actually take on the job, decide to appoint him Director General of his department. Forbidden by his doctor to do any work, he struggles to get out of bed and walk down a hallway in his house to prove to his new wife that he is on the mend. Before reaching her, he overhears an argument between his wife and her mother, who is chiding her daughter saying: “You brought all this on by your greed!” He turns and goes back to his bed to ponder his life decisions.
           
We can easily make up our minds about what we, and what we think God, wants us to do, and then miss all the invitations that come our way during our lives to make a change, to take that step across the threshold into a new life. This is the same as the Gospel image of the King inviting people to come to the wedding banquet. Notice the excuses that the people used. They went off to their farms and businesses. They weren’t interested in the wedding banquet; they already had their lives organized, no need to interrupt what they were about. Now we know that this Gospel lesson intends to explain why Christ’s message was taken to the Gentiles, because the Jews weren’t interested. But are we really interested either? Why allow that distraction to interfere with our plans. Our hero in Respected Sirknew his plans: “He had one goal, both sacred and profane…He told himself that man’s true life was his inner life, which governed his every heartbeat and which called for toil, dedication, and enterprise. It was something holy, something religious, and through it he could achieve self-fulfillment in the service of the sacred apparatus known as the Government or the State. Through it the glory of man was accomplished on earth, and through man God’s will was accomplished on high. People applauded other, indeed quite contrary things; but these people were foolish and fraudulent.” (p. 41)
           
No time for that wedding banquet? And yet, the Gospel message is one of joy. It is about eternal life and how to achieve it. It urges us to be attentive to God’s call at all times. It is an invitation to a banquet of indescribable joy but to get there we have to cross a threshold, we have to pass through that liminal space of our own preconceived notions about our life and take the chance to follow a call that draws us out of ourselves and into God’s plan for us. Let us take that chance.

Glory be to Jesus Christ.